My life in Russia.

" Fuck that bitch this is Russia." Is a common ending line to Bert kreischer's 
  stand up story about him being called the machine by Russian Gangsters.

  However being a tourist and being a resident in Russia are two different

  experiences. 

 You see my mother did not finish high school.

 My father barely finished high school before joining the Air Force.

 My father raised me in Government provided housing after

 being born in a Government funded hospital all located on

 Grand Forks Air Force Base.

 Talk of human Gene experimentation was common during the 1980's....

 In 1983 due to post depression my mother completely lost her mind.

 The slightest noise would cause my mother to start screaming.

 In a house with a baby moments of silence were rare.

 So my father became stressed out by my mother's constant

 yelling and he started smoking marijuana.

 A few years later the war on drugs caused strict drug testing

 for all government employees. 

 Even with a posted notice of when the drug testing occurred

 by father failed the drug test and was ejected from the 

 Air Force.

My Father, Mother and myself were facing homelessness.

So my Grand Father called my Uncle to inform him of

what happened. My child free uncle flue from Russia

to the United States and collected me from my Grand Father.

My uncle took me to his family owned cabin.

You see my uncles great grand father built a massive log cabin

in the Russian wilds way back in the 1950's.

The reason he selected this sight was due to the fact that half

 of his family was murdered fleeing from the approaching 

German army when he was ten years old.

He only survived because he was hiding under his mothers corpse

He built the cabin directly on top of their graves to keep them from

being defiled by other invading forces.

As time went by the cabin was upgraded 

Insulation, press board, recirculating air heating vents, indoor toilets, Electricity,

running well water, internet, cable TV, water heaters and heated flooring coils.

I was taken to my Uncles family home and given a bedroom that was formerly a guest room.

Given I was a child under the age of ten I was quite sad that I didn't have

my parents around to comfort me. I did as I was told.

 So I ate, slept and bathe when told.

My uncle got annoyed by my continued sadness.

He went into the city the next day leaving me with

his wife. His wife was a 25 year old Russian woman.

She simply kept me company while we watched

Animated movies in English.

When my Uncle returned four days later he had a 20 year old Asian

woman with him who was carrying a suit case with her.

My uncle provided her with a foot locker to keep her items in.

But he put the footlocker in the room he gave to me.

As I watched confused my uncle said " подбодри его, пожалуйста " in Russian. 

This means " Cheer him up. " 

So this clearly Chinese woman picks me up and hugged me into her chest.

She basically shoved my face into her cleavage.

For reasons I did not understand at the time. 

I immediate calmed down and found my self at peace.

 As an adult I now know the sexual connect to the act.

But given the fact that I was a super moody child

that would often moan in disapproval is I had to

eat veggies with out ranch dressing.

Bribery was very effective.

If I was saying " Carrots taste horror able. I won't eat them."

Beck the 20 year old Chinese woman would just look at me.

Then say

 " Eat those or I won't cuddle with you during the afternoon movie."

Having a clear obsession with cuddling as a kid.

I would be instantly shocked silent by such a threat.

Unwilling to give up my afternoon cuddles.

I would at once eat the carrots.

My average day would be sleep until noon cuddled up to Beck.

Have lunch and do activates from a work book until dinner.

The child themed work book was quite interesting.

After dinner is eaten.

Beck and I will watch an English spoken movie.

During which I would cuddle up to Beck.

 We would watch the movie until I fell asleep.

Beck would walk me into my room where we would sleep

in the same bed.

This routine was maintained for years.

One afternoon after dinner my Uncle looked over and saw a 12 year old

cuddled up to a woman in her late twenties. 

My uncle turns to beck and asked " У него эрекция?  возведение? Тяжело?"

Meaning  " Does he have an erection? "

When asked that question Beck palmed my groin and I instantly got hard.

Beck looked at my uncle and said " I guess it is time."

Beck took me into the bathroom attached to my bedroom.

She then gave me a well lubricated hand job.

When Beck started giving me a hand job I didn't feel violated or molested in any way.

I had an intense physical attraction to Beck and was often comforted by her cleavage.

So I had no objection to her giving me a hand job.

I was however stunned by the overpowering pleasure of my first ejaculation.

At the age of 13 however I started to explore outdoors.

I would awaken at 10am and go into the woods.

These woods contained abandoned items that I found

interesting and would ask my Uncle about.

During the construction of the wooden cabin his grand father

had constructed a saw mill.

After the construction was completed the saw mill is left unused.

However one item I took on as a personal project was 

a helicopter left sunk inside the snow.

My uncles grand father who stayed in his room a lot

had a government related job that gave him the required

connections to obtain a helicopter.

He used it to travel to work in a city center.

But after retiring from his job the helicopter 

sat unused and the landing zone became

filled with snow.

I eventually dig up the snow and using an operations manual I was provided.

I was able to get the helicopter operational

and my uncle often used it to make trips to town for supplies.

My uncle previously used a snow cat to travel to town.

I know that some people out there are like this 13 year old kid

removed the rusted parts from a helicopter and was able to replace them.

How in the world did he do that?

Did you know that if you Take a bowl and add baking soda along

 with lemon juice or water and stir it you create a mixture that can remove rust?

You simply take the part and submerging it the mixture.

Eventually the rust will be removed and the part will function normally.

What about the section of the part removed by the rust?

You can use a soldering iron to fill in the minor missing spaces.

The metal fills in the holes and bonds with metal,